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Thursday, 21 August 2008

When I try this, I get slapped...

But Olympic women wrestlers get a gold metal for it? I hate the Olympics.



 
Thursday, 21 August 2008

Anything Goes at the Dog Brothers Fight Club

BURBANK, Calif (Reuters) - Electrically charged knives hum and crackle as two fighters circle each other on the gym floor, slashing and kicking out.

Closing in they throw punches and swing elbows before crashing to the mat to grapple as the crowd cheers them on. One slips a hand free and sends a several thousand volt jolt into his opponents ribs to end the fight.

Two more fighters quickly take their place, swinging hefty sticks, thwacking, punching and head-butting one another in a brutal battle accompanied by the rhythmic thumping of drums.

Welcome to the world of the Dog Brothers, a Los Angeles area fight club that draws combatants from various walks of life for twice-yearly, no-holds-barred brawls with fists and assorted weapons that often end in welts, bumps, bruises, if not blood.

The self-styled tribal brotherhood emerged out of the martial arts community in Southern California in the 1980s, where their hard sparring methods set them apart and gained them notoriety.

Their meetings have no referees, no prizes and few rules, and the fighters' only protection are gloves and a fencing mask. They are now drawing a growing number of participants from across the United States and around the world.

"This is like the ultimate. You've got striking, you've got grappling, you've got weapons, anything goes," said Matt Booe, a karate instructor hoping to fight with hefty, blunted knives at a recent gathering in Burbank, just north of Los Angeles.

"It gives you the idea of really finding out what martial arts are like, not just doing pretty forms."

full article here

The art of stick fighting...


 
Thursday, 21 August 2008

Who needs ecstasy when you have the Holy Ghost

Raves are for losers. Mosh pits are for pussies. That dancing party on the Titanic...lame! Nothing compares to Saturday night's Revival Service aka the Holy Ghost Explosion. At 1:13 things start getting a little out of control. Someone drank a little too much red wine. So put down the pills, and swallow some communion wafers...



 
Thursday, 21 August 2008

How To Make The Gayest Music Video Ever

One hit wonder deluxe, Weather Girls, hit pay dirt when they released an amazingly desperate song "Its Raining Men". As if the song wasn't gay enough, it became an absolute boys town anthem thanks to them accompanying it with the gayest music video of all time. The thought process most likely went something like this:




1) Only fat fag-hags would even think about starting off a song about men falling from the sky (for them to finally bone) by shrouding their disparity with the disguise of them actually being concerned for the weather. (Gayness Level: Low/Desperate)

2)
Just after the nutty professor looking girl not only A) falls out of the window and B) is invisible because she is wearing green on a green screen (no need to re-shoot, just let it roll) we have our first encounter with gayness...men (Definitely hired from the local Chipendale's) in trench coats with nothing but their man-thongs and their Nikes on underneath. (Gayness Level: We're Heating Up!)

3) It is definitely necessary to have a close up of the largest car of the bunch in a nightie with her old fat boobs flapping around like two salmon out of water. Follow this up with the Chipendale's dancers in red satin tighties and detective hats and the gaydar is just off the charts (not to mention borderline uncomfortable).
(Gayness Level: Elton John)

4) The climax of this pride parade is the Chip's dancers doing a dance routine that only can be summed up as Thursday Nights at The Man Hole: Showtunes Night! (Gayness Level: It's Raining AIDS)

 
Thursday, 21 August 2008

Mentally Challenged Dance Off: Hoboken

Hobokenites know of a man (term used loosely) who dances on the corner of 14th street in Hoboken, NJ all day every day. This nut job finally meets his maker in: Mentally Challenged Dance Off!



 
Thursday, 21 August 2008

Toilet training 101 Japanese style

Sing along "When the morning starts and you are full of poo. After you poo it out you'll be happy all day long. "



 
Thursday, 21 August 2008

The weird part is it's a paper store.



 
Thursday, 21 August 2008

14 year old kills friend's sister over ipod

must. have. ipod

URI: A 14-year-old schoolboy, obsessed with electronic gadgets, allegedly murdered his best friend's sister on Sunday afternoon to steal his new ipod. SURI: A 14-year-old schoolboy, obsessed with electronic gadgets, allegedly murdered his best friend's sister on Sunday afternoon to steal his new ipod.Arka Das alias Riju first tried to hoodwink neighbours and police but eventually admitted to hitting 10-year-old Siuli Dalui in the face and throwing her 40 feet down a canal embankment. When he fou-nd that the girl was unconscious but alive, he gagged her, smashed her head with a stone and hid her body behind a hedge, police say.

The Class VIII student was unruffled during interrogation on Monday and calmly confessed to killing the girl "because she would not give him the gadget. Arka eyed the iPod the day Sagar bought it two weeks ago. Arka and Sagar were classmates at a secondary school in Suri till Arka failed in Class VIII. They lived in the same locality, Laldi-ghipara, and their families were close to each other for years. But that did not stop Arka — a self-confessed gadget freak — from trying to grab the iPod. A next-door neighbour alleged that the boy was mad about gadgets and watches and had been cau-ght stealing mobile phones several times. "But we spared him every time because of his age," she said.

Sagar, who trusted Arka enough to overlook his obsessive behaviour, showed him the iPod because he knew how to load music and pictures. "We've been friends since I can recall. Last week I gave the gadget for repairs. Arka knew abo-ut it and went there with a forged letter, posing as my brother. He told the shopkeeper to hand it to him but the shopkeeper was not convinced and refused," Sagar said.
Frustrated, Arka hatched another plan to get the iPod, say police. On Sunday afternoon, he went to Sagar's house when he was not there and asked Siuli — a Class II student — to bring the iPod. She refused initially but agreed when Arka said he would take her pictures on the gadget.

The family suspected nothing because they knew Arka for years. Arka took Siuli to Tilpara, near the Mayurakshi dam, saying it would offer the best setting for photos. Once there, he tried to snatch the gadget. When Siuli resisted, he killed her, hid the body and calmly cycled home. A little later, Siuli's mother came to enquire after her but Arka said he knew nothing. As the evening wore on and Siu-li was still missing, fear turned to panic. Under sustained questioning, Arka admitted to the crime but he tried to confuse police and took them on awild goode chase around Suri town. Finally, he revealed the body was at Tilpara. Police retrieved the body around 2.30 am on Monday and arrested Arka. There were deep injuries on Siuli's face.

 
Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Do NOT press the red button on the new Samsung Omnia i900

The Puerto Rican Day parade would have been a nice touch. Amusing nonetheless.



 
Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Emily is not real

Emily - the woman in the animation - was produced using a new modelling technology that enables the most minute details of a facial expression to be captured and recreated. She is considered to be one of the first animations to have overleapt a long-standing barrier known as 'uncanny valley' - which refers to the perception that animation looks less realistic as it approaches human likeness.

The team at Image Metrics - which produced the animation for the Grand Theft Auto computer game - then recreated the gestures, movement by movement, in a model. The aim was to overcome the traditional difficulties of animating a human face, for instance that the skin looks too shiny, or that the movements are too symmetrical.


 
Wednesday, 20 August 2008

How To Make The Worst Music Video Ever

Hall & Oats are a quintessential 80's band that needs no introduction. "She's Gone" is one of their finest musical achievements as a song. As a video it looks like they had 2 hours and no money to slam something together before Huey Lewis takes over their sound stage. "Shes Gone" is less a music video and more a clinic on what not to do:

1) Rent out a small space- studio is preferable but might be a little too expensive. Parent's garage will work just as well and its better ventilation as you rip butts for the whole video.

2) Ask a couple friends to play dress up, tell them the rented devil costume is on you (bill them for it later)

3) Lip syncing is optional of course (check out 1:35 where they don't even bother), believe me no one will know the difference/care. In fact don't even get up off your chairs, sit down and take it easy Daryl.

4)
Playing any instruments is optional too. If you choose to play them don't plug them in and pretend like its your little brother air soloing out to Van Halen (2:53 what is up with the sleeve glove things?)

The funny thing is they never really improved their music video skills after this one, but nothing is worse than "Shes Gone":


Tomorrow: How to make the gayest video ever.

 
Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Weight lifting world records you'll never come close to

Bench Press: 1070 lbs


Squat: 1250 lbs


Bicep Curl: 223 lbs



Clean and Jerk: 580 lbs



 
Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Nerd Alert: Star Wars Weddings

You thought it couldn't get dorkier than Comic-Con. Well you were wrong. In a galaxy not too far away, lives a community of nerds that put on their black tie stormtrooper and Ewok outfits to come together in holy matrimony. Strike up the Cantina Band, we got ourselves a wedding!

This wedding video says it all...




...and forget the K-Ci and JoJo slow dance. Not for these young Jedis! Break out the lightsabers...



there are many more youtube "Ring Wars" videos, as they call it. Enjoy.

 
Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Implants that serve no purpose

Your coolness level is out of this world now. How can I be like you?







 
Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Kill Yourself Award XLIII



...why don't you two put the horns down and dive into a steaming mac and cheese bath like good little girls.



 
Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Horimono: Japanese full body tattooing

The horimono is the most highly respected form of tattoo in the world today. World-famous for the history, the beauty, and the meaning of the process and the design. It is a serious art form, taking from 6 months to a number of years to complete, depending on the design. The method tebori (to carve by hand) is long and painful. The design is drawn on the skin in Chinese ink (sumi), then triangular gouges are used to form an outline after which color is worked in by hand.

But is it body art, or a proud display of organized crime connections? In Japan, full-body tattooing rises from dubious origins to art form.



 
Tuesday, 19 August 2008

37 Reasons Michael Phelps is Better than Chuck Norris

This just touches the surface...


Michael Phelps isn't like a fish, a fish is like Michael Phelps

When Michael Phelps falls in water, Michael Phelps doesn't get wet. Water gets Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage

Michael Phelps wasn't born he was hatched

Michael Phelps can eat out a mermaid

When you say "no one's perfect", Michael Phelps takes this as a personal insult

Michael Phelps counted to infinity twice while doing the breast stroke

Michael Phelps can no longer shower because water is afraid of him

When Michael Phelps looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Michael Phelps

Bigfoot takes pictures of Michael Phelps

On the Asian market, Michael Phelps' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce

Michael Phelps can dribble a football

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Michael Phelps out. It failed miserably

Michael Phelps can make water run uphill

Michael Phelps can divide by zero

When you Google 'Michael Phelps losing' you get no results because it just doesn't happen

Phelps once punched a hole thru a shark just to see down the ocean

If by some incredible space-time paradox, Michael Phelps would ever swim against himself, he'd win. Period.

Phelps doesn't sweat, he drips chlorine

Michael Phelps recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps was what Willis was talkin' about

Michael Phelps saved Gepetto from the whale

Michael Phelps can swim through ice

Every time Michael Phelps laughs, an undertow kills 3 orphans

When in China, Michael Phelps would order whole chickens but only eat their souls…then do the breast stroke

Rappers no longer wear bling, they wear Michael Phelps

You can find a pot of Phelps at the end of the rainbow

There's an order to the universe: space, time, Michael Phelps.... Just kidding, Michael Phelps is first every time

People no longer go swimming, they go phelpsing

Contrary to popular belief, Phelps actually parted the Red Sea with his freestyle medley

Water would rather jump to its death than be near Michael Phelps, hence waterfalls

As a child, Phelps didn't wear water wings, water wings wore Michael Phelps

As polar ice caps continue to melt, humans will begin to evolve to adjust to a world of water. Conclusion: Phelps is from the future

Phelps taught Aquaman how to swim

Hurricane Phelps is a sign of the apocalypse; it makes Katrina look like a muddy puddle

Michael Phelps' sperm backstrokes


 
Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Stunt man cheats death when movie stunt goes wrong

First off, this looks like the greatest movie of all time. Probably action packed. Second, if you're a stunt man who's job is to dodge a truck flying down the right side of a hill, exit your ass stage left (or actually i think its technically stage right, i never understood that thespian jargon).



Doesn't the opening clip remind you of this...



 
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