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Would you give yourself an enema with bird poop filled water to survive?

Would you squeeze water out of elephant doodie just to drink something?

If you answered yes to any of these questions something is obviously off so you are the perfect person for this game.

PLAY THE GAME

Here is the deal people…Alls yous gots to do is click here to play the game to find out your Bear Grylles rating. Apparently my survival skills consist of waiting for help.

WIN THE BOX SET

First person to send in a clip of a self enema wins a box set of man vs. wild.  Ahhh you got us..the 10th emailer (afrojacks@gmail.com) will win a box set of man vs. wild. Good luck!

We’re keeping it simple, join our facebook group HERE and make yourself eligible. Only those who join between Tues 4/6 and Sunday 4/25 will be eligible. Winners will be hit up thru Facebook. Oh, already a member, then just email us at afrojacks@gmail.com.

The album, which drops today, features producing partner Eric Valentine (Queens of Stone Age, The All-America n Rejects), bassist Chris Chaney (Jane’s Addiction) and drummer Josh Freese (Nine Inch Nails). The album features an all-star roster of guest musicians including Ian Astbury of The Cult, Chris Cornell, Rocco DeLuca , Fergie, Dave Grohl, Myles Kennedy of Alterbridge, Kid Rock, Lemmy Kilmeister of Motorhead, Adam Levine of Maroon 5, Duff McKagan, M. Shadows of Avenged Sevenfold, Ozzy Osbourne, Iggy Pop, and Andrew Stockdale of Wolfmother. Listen for free at AOL Listening Party.

We may send out more than 3, so definitely enter to win.

As with all of our contests we will keep this easy. Alls yous gots to do it email us (afrojacks@gmail.com). Be the first person to make us laugh and you win.

Two of the biggest artists in music, JAY-Z and Eminem, are mixing it up again with Activision’s DJ Hero – the #1 new videogame intellectual property of 2009 – by dropping their rhymes in exclusive mixes available for download beginning today on Xbox LIVE® Marketplace for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft.  The JAY-Z vs. Eminem Mix Pack delivers three standout hits from each legend, including JAY-Z’s “Can I Get A…” mixed with Eminem’s “Lose Yourself,” driving the total number of one-of-a-kind mixes available for fans to spin, scratch and battle into triple digits.

“From sold out concerts to #1 albums to double digit Grammy Awards, JAY-Z and Eminem define what it means to be a successful artist,” said Jamie Jackson, Creative Director, FreeStyleGames.  “The DJ Hero soundtrack is an expanding collection of chart-topping hit music – mixed in an all-new way – that can only be experienced in our game, and with the addition of the JAY-Z vs. Eminem Mix Pack, players and their friends can not only experience, but interact with over 100 unique mixes.”

The JAY-Z vs. Eminem Mix Pack features the following exclusive mash-ups:

“Shake That” by Eminem Mixed With “Show Me What You Got” by JAY-Z

“Without Me” by Eminem Mixed With “Encore” by JAY-Z

“Can I Get A…” by JAY-Z Mixed With “Lose Yourself” by Eminem

The JAY-Z vs. Eminem Mix Pack is available now on Xbox LIVE Marketplace for Xbox 360 for 640 Microsoft Points. The Mix Pack will be available on the PlayStation®Store for the PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system on March 25, 2010 for $7.99.  All mixes will be released as downloadable singles for Wii™ on March 25, 2010 for 300 Wii Points each.

This exclusive event included a World Premiere screening of the Gillette UNCUT films, which feature the stars preparing for performances and revealing not only some of their pre-show rituals, but moments of introspection, self-doubt and re-assurance.

For more of Mark click here

Comment on this video and you can win. Top 3 comments will win one of the following

1 – $100 iTunes gift card

2 – $100 Ticket Master gift card

3- Autographed Mark Hoppus picture taken by Danny Clinch.

The top 3 comments we deem the best will win. Say whatever you want there are no rules… just make sure you leave your email when signing up to comment so we can let you know.

Afro: Aside from being a tremendously talented guitarist, you’ve also found great success in teaching the craft. You’ve taught some of the biggest names in Rock before they were stars such as, Steve Vai, Tom Morello, & Kirk Hammett. How does this all come about? Is there some form of shredder school we are unaware of that you are turning out killer guitarists? And we have to ask, who was the biggest pain to teach?

Satriani: Never taught Tom Morello, but have played with him a few times, he is completely amazing! Teaching just happened because people started asking me for lessons, so I acquiesced. I like getting other players to reach their full potential. I’m afraid I’ve been the biggest pain to teach; sometimes I can be so spacey!

Afro: So congrats on the new CD/DVD release. What are some of the highlights on Live in Paris: I Just Wanna Rock?

Satriani: I am always amazed when we have just one night to record/film and be great, and it all works out beautifully. We were really on fire that night, and sounded like a real band.

and the classic Satch Boogie

Afro: Out of all of the youtube clips of people trying to play our stuff, have you ever seen someone who actually impressed you?

Satriani: There’s a clip of an eight-year-old Chinese girl playing “Always With Me, Always With You” on a Chinese television show that is awe-inspiring. But, I particularly like the clips of me where someone overdubs some hideous guitar playing over my performance; those clips have me rolling on the floor laughing my head off…

Check him out “shredding”

Afro: You’ve toured with so many great guitarists over the years. Is there anyone you wish you could have played with?

Satriani: Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck, Eddie Van Halen to name a few…

Afro: How has it been playing with Chicken Foot? Being you are all well-established musicians, how is the song writing process? Do any egos get in the way?

Satriani: No egos, just fun, all the time. Sammy and I get together and write quite a bit, we have a good chemistry going. We each bring in musical and lyrical ideas and try to go with the moment. Then when the band hears it, we all shape the arrangements.

Afro: As big Spinal Tap fans, we’re well aware of your contribution to the track “Break Like the Wind.” Tell us how it was recording the track with those guys, and all the other contributing musicians. It is like the We are the world for guitarists (Slash, Beck, Lukather)

Satriani: Unfortunately, we were never at the same studio at the same time. They didn’t even play me the other guys’ solos until I was finished with mine, but somehow all the solos worked together!

Afro: With everything you’ve accomplished so far, what is next for The Satch?

Satriani: Writing and recording a solo CD, writing and recording Chickenfoot 2, but first, I’m going out on the Experience Hendrix Tour this March. I’m looking forward to a very busy year!

visit chickenfoot.us for more info

Afro: Sounds like a great year! Thanks for taking the time.

Everyone be sure to check out the DVD here and be on the look out for the new Chickenfoot disc as well as the Experience Hendrix Tour this March.

WIN WIN WIN WIN!!!

Right now, courtesy of Joe Satriani & Ibanez you have your chance to design your own Ibanez specialty guitar! Go to the following link for all the details on how to enter: http://web.epicrecords.com/joesatriani/guitardesign. To go along with the custom guitar, one winner will also receive a Vox Satchurator pedal, a Planet Waves strap, and Joe Satriani’s new CD & DVD “Live In Paris: I Just Wanna Rock”

Thats all i gots.

We got one copy of Aziz’s latest DVD “Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening” (just released), and we’re looking to mail it to yo’ punk ass. As Patton Oswalt described it, “It’s like a DVD with jokes on it!” Aziz discusses topics ranging from sheets with fraudulent thread counts to the chubbiness of his young cousin Harris. And of course, we get a special encore performance from Raaaaaaaandy.

And in the spirit of Raaaaaaaandy, we want to hear your best (aka your worse) blowjob experience. Have you been puked on? Walked in on by your mom? Get your pubes stuck in some braces? Of course, we all have.

Send us your story. Best wins. Contest ends next Wednesday.

Can you beat this one . . .

Raaaaaaaandy – Jacuzzi

“Let’s Clear The Air” highlights topics ranging from his Long Island childhood experiences, things he finds funny with his own family, parental responsibility, and anecdotes about his experiences with other comedians (like Dave Chappelle and Tracey Morgan).

Check out the promo (and Afro shoutout) below . . .

Fuck, I’ll throw in a Canseco rookie card. And look what else . . . Robbie Alomar rookie, Griffey Jr rookie, McGwire rookie…i’m just picking these randomly out the pack, people!

Anyway, be our 11th emailer and you got it….afrojacks@gmail.com