It's about time that women get in on the dog rapping scene
A Florida woman pleaded no contest to lewd and lascivious battery after performing oral sex on a teenage girl and having sex with her dog. A tipster turned over a computer disk to the Flagler Humane Society depicting Carla Rhea Maldonado, 41, of Palm Coast having sex with her German shepherd and performing oral sex on a then 15-year-old girl in 2005, the Daytona News Journal reports. Maldonado had been a veterinary technician for the society, which fired her from her 9-year-job before releasing the disk to authorities.
Maldonado’s husband is accused of recording the images of his wife molesting the teenager and having sex with the dog. The 42-year-old man also faces 50 counts of child pornography. Prosecutors said Carla Maldonado could face up to 15 years in prison but most likely will be sentenced to 5 ½ years with five years probation after release for molesting the teenager. She will be registered as a sex offender. She was not charged with any crime in connection with the dog. Bestiality is not against the law in Florida.
In Italy 2005, Nikki Dick sought out to form a band in the spirit of 80s hair metal. Four years later, Cream Pie has relocated to Florida and is melting faces in the name of GnR, Skid Row, Crue, LA Guns, W.A.S.P. and every other sleeze rock/hair band that we love. The band's debut album Dirty Job was released in 2008, and the band continues to tour, and has discovered a great deal of success on myspace. We caught up with Nikki (guitar), Phantom (guitar), and Brian Kent (drums) . . .
FROMAN: What are your feelings on the music industry today?
Nikki: It's kinda a jungle. There are thousands bands and artists playin' all kinds of music and ready to sell their asses to even do something bigger.
Brian: I totally agree with Nikki, there are lots of bands in the music industry, and the majority of these bands are very ridiculous.
FROMAN: Who are your biggest musical influences?
Nikki: Personally the street metal of the 80's (Guns N' Roses majorly), Beatles, Stones, Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Metallica, Sex Pistols...and I love Chinese Democracy.
Phantom: 80s street rock and glam metal, but also punk rock and a bit of thrash metal and visual kei.
Brian: I'm influenced by bands like Guns N' Roses, Motley Crue, Aerosmith, Kiss, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Def Leppard, AC/DC, L.A. Guns, Cinderella, Skid Row, Whitesnake, Hanoi Rocks, W.A.S.P., Ramones.
FROMAN: What's different about your music that makes it worth listening to?
Nikki: Oh man, I don't know... let me think... the energy, the attitude and the songs' quality I guess.
Phantom: We take it seriously!!
Brian: The rage and the spontaneity of our songs.
FROMAN: What's the worst thing that's ever happened during a live performance?
Nikki: The sound on stage is messed up almost everytime thanks to the genius soundguys that we find in the clubs.
Phantom: The drums wasn't there! hahah
FROMAN: You guys know in America, a cream pie refers to a vagina that's had a load of semen shot into it.(And note, semen ON a vagina is NOT a cream pie. Cream pies have cream on the INSIDE. A vagina that merely has semen ON it is just a messy vagina). Is this what you guys were going for when naming the band? I mean, pie is american, why not go for canoli?
Nikki: Actually canoli is an american word too. The italian one is "cannuoli". And anyway it would sound really bad. So yeah, let's think about the messy vagina and keep it like Cream Pie.
FROMAN: The music scene desperately needs more hard rockin, adrenaline powered, pussy smashing rock music. For those who don't know about Cream Pie, what will one see and hear at a Cream Pie concert?
Nikki: Surely a very good show, a lot of guitar playin', a lot of screamin', a powerful drumming, some throbbing basslines, a lot of energy, attitude, and much much fun.
Phantom: and some naked Italian guys!
Brian: Our shows are totally crazy, nobody knows what can really happen.
FROMAN: You guys were inspired by the hair metal scene. What's your all-star hair band if you could create one? Who plays what?
Nikki: I'd just leave the bands like they were, everyone was perfect in their own time. Don't make me fuck things up and create some kind of monster!
Brian: It's very easy: Axl Rose, Slash, Izzy Stradlin, Duff McKagan, Steven Adler, anything else?
FROMAN: Who gets the most pussy in the band?
Phantom: Brian, absolutely, then me! hahaha
Brian: I really don't know, we don't count the pussy we get.
FROMAN: What the major differences between Italian and American groupies?
Brian: There are no differences for me, the pussy is always the pussy!!!
Phantom: Italian groupies don't exist, those girls just want to fuck someone at the show...which is good!!
Dear Chicago readers or people who may be in the area,
We are giving away 2 tickers to 104.3 Jack FM’s “Jack’s Cheap Christmas” featuring The Dan Band, comedian Frank Caliendo, and Cheap Trick at the Allstate Arena on Thursday, December 10th
If you want them all you have to do is email us here saying I will be in Chicago on 12/10 and want the tix.
Its just like the Peanutbutter Jelly song only has nothing to do with ice cream or cake, is 10x cooler and involves dogs humping things. Thats called high brow humor folks.
It's about time that women get in on the dog rapping scene
