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Finally, Americans can excel in an academic subject

15 Oct, 2010 News

Americans are not particularly well known for being smart or school focused. Having a president who could barely speak intelligently will lead the world to believe such things. Regardless, when you are the greatest country in the world, being a fat sloppy titty mess is actually a badge of honor. That’s the only reason Texas hasn’t been removed from the union.

But I’m sure you’ve heard that our children don’t exercise or go outside because they are constantly playing video games. Fortunately, our nation’s educators decided, if you can’t beat them (not the kids of course), join them. Our nation’s youth can now never read a textbook again and, instead, learn via video games.

It’s really fantastic we’re raising a generation of children to be completely anti-social and leading them down a path of endless masturbation. Not that there is anything wrong with the second part of that equation. It explains why my forearms look like Popeye’s. One of the benefits is I can always open a hard-to-open jar!


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